So, I finished my first round of chemo. I would love to say that I am kicking cancer's butt, but some days I think it is quite the opposite! I am glad to be done with this round, but it's hard to get excited considering I will start another round in less than a month. The next round will be a little different, because I will be doing the treatments homebound with oral medications and small injections twice daily. This will be nice because I won't have to drive for three and a half hours both ways for a six hour treatment. The bad part is that my oncologist already warned me that I will be about twice as sick as I was with the regular chemo. Whoo-hoo!

I have found a few people to talk to and be able to confide in, but it's still really hard on my emotions right now. I mean, no one close to me really knows how all of this feels. They try to be supportive, but they have no idea how it feels to toss and turn all night and then have your head in a toilet all morning. It's exausting! Not to mention the financial strain of it all. I HATE taking charity and handouts! I have always been able to fend for myself, but now with medical bills, not being able to work, and school on top of that, it's all starting to pile up. My church is helping me pay for my daily meds and some living expenses, and I know that they are just trying to help, but I still feel bad taking other people's money.

Anyway, I've got like five feet of homework on my desk, so I better get to it! Night!

February 18th, 2008 10:45pm